Free phone sex msg live chat

Well, your 15 minutes was last week, but since you weren't ready, we gave it to Vanna White. As the drugs take hold, you feel you are losing your grip on reality. After the beep you can tell me how it was, or leave some other, informative message. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number. A basic membership is only , and a pledge gets you an "I love Jim Shea" T-shirt. You jusht had to call and call until shummbody got home. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. There's no point in leaving a message since by now I'm probably dead. 01/07/05 - Matt from Mass.: You must be this tall to leave a message. 01/02/05 - ashton from ohio: buddy the elf whats your favorite color? sorry i didn't call you but i have anal glaucoma..i just can't SEE MY ASS calling you back! 12/30/04 - Daniel from Texas: (Similar to one below, but more refined) "Hey, this is Dan.

On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. We are experiencing severe problems with hot water. I'm secretly replacing Jane and Bob with dark sparkling Folger's Crystals. Press 1 if you are going to ask me out, 2 if you want to apologize for something, 3 if you just called to say I am a princess, and 4 if you are going to say something else.(Will be automatically deleted! Please wait for the tone, and thank you for your pledge. If you're the phone company asking for money, stop bugging her, she'll send it sooner or later. Now, shum people, dey shay dey don' like 'em, but I shay it'll shave you a lotta trouble if you jusht leave a meshage. You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded. They give to charity through the office and don't need their picture taken. You know what, whoever the hell you are you mght as well hang up because I'm gonna ramble a lot. 01/05/05 - Jenna Armoska from Rock Falls, IL: Hello...? Leave your name, phone #, address, Social Security #, Credit Card #, and the expiration date. 12/30/04 - Bel from Laredo, Texas: Hello this is my answering machine.

Already know who you are and why you've called, please hang up after and we tell each other everything. You hear a faint click and a light flashes on the answering machine... Bullwinkle Hey, Rocky, somebody called while we weren't home. We're VERY close Bwana fella no home now, so you fella leave talkie-talk. Well, believe you me, when I find him again, I'll have a few choice words for him. So leave a message at the tone and I'll get back to you as soon as my component particles have been restored to their normal charges. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me. 01/15/05 - terry from bat cave: how are you 01/14/05 - brittany from humble: Hey its _____. Who are u again....arent you the one that...(mad voice) NEVERMIND JUST LEAVE A DAMN MESSAGE (mummbling ) Beep 01/13/05 - nadine v,21 from melbourne-australia: there's a priest staying over,leave a message as i don't want him to hear me swear to yoi infront of him! 01/04/05 - ERIN from CANADA: Hi, you've reached the sucide hotline, please hold on the line and I'll get some one for you! 12/28/04 - ME from This world: you have reached______ leave your name, number, address, S. #, your credit card number, weight, eye color, height, Sex, date of Birth, and I will get back to you if you answer every one of those questions 12/26/04 - Xantax from Jupiter: Nate ATKINS YOU STUPID FUCK THAT SUCKED 12/24/04 - Sheila & Sarah from here or there: Speak worm! ~ 12/22/04 - k-dot from california: this is you know who, i'm not you know where, but if you leave your you know what, i'll get back to you who knows when 12/19/04 - Brittany from VA: Hey this is _____, I cant come to the phone now cause i am at Wal MArt riding the pink pony so leave me a message and i will call u back when i run out of quarters 12/17/04 - jolly green giant from my house: dude, sorry *busy* leave one and i'll get back to you if i feel like it 12/17/04 - samantha from houston: you've got me, now you know what to do. You're mission, should you choose to accept it, it to leave your name, number, and a brief message after the beep. how are u ,, i want u to leave a message after the beep and ___ will get back to u at anytime of the day , ok , ok CHoa 12/07/04 - (in a sweedin voice) from Sweedin: Hello, my name is _____, ya! I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. 12/01/04 - rahul from YO MOMMA: WHO DA FUKK IS THIS? leave me a message 11/15/04 - Samber from Hell, Mexico: Hey, this is the devil speaking.. 11/13/04 - Ashley from Wa, USA: Hi, you've reached___, the greatest psychic in the world. : im probley here right now but im too busy doin bong hits, eating snacks, and playing video games to answer the phone 11/09/04 - Cassie Kurtz from Traverse City, MI: Hey guys. Were not here at the moment, but you know what to do, how to do it, and when to do it...

Andy Warhol said that one day everyone will be famous for 15 minutes. Bwana 'im big fella mek talkie-talk back real fas'. Hello, this is John's answering machine reminding you that yesterday was the last day of the previous period of your life. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now. (Drawling granny voice:) Way back inna winner of fifty-two, we didn' have fanshy gadjets like no ansherin' machine. 01/12/05 - david from ohio: this is___, sorry i missed your call, but you won't miss me because nobody cares about me, which is why I'm comitting suicide right now. but if u think you're important enough to call back.. 01/02/05 - sexylady from sumwhere: im having sex call me back when me n you are done. 12/31/04 - Ellissa from Washington: hey im not here if u don't leave a message then u r stupid bc u called for somethin so say wat u wanted and i'll act like i care, bi 12/30/04 - Anna from VA: Hey, this is ______, I am out making changes in my life so if I don't call you back, you're on of those changes. 12/15/04 - Steph from Baltimore: i would answer the phone if i could but obivously i can't so leave i message and i'll think about calling you back! Since I already know who you are and why you've called, at the sound of the beep, you can just hang up. Leave me a message and i'll leave you with and abstract thought.

Please leave your name, phone number, short message, social security number, and credit card number and we will call you when we're done shopping. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now.

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(The most common response: "Well, sure, but my neighbor's bathroom is bigger and better equipped to handle elephants.") Hello, you have reached the _______ family and we can not come to the phone right now. If you called for any other reasons, please hang up the phone, start screaming, and run to the nearest shoe store. (This probably won't help you, but we'll always have something to laugh about when we're bored.) Hi, you have reached _(phone number)__ you have a chance to win one million dollars if you can answer the following 1. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. I know you're supposed to leave a message, but I really prefer you don't. Sadly, most people who use answering machines or voice mail have the standard greeting of, "Hi, this is ____. Leave a message and I'll get back to you." Isn't that boring?Wouldn't you rather spice up your greeting with something that will make people smile, laugh or think?If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. You jusht had to call and call until shummbody got home. Our operators do not exist at the moment, but if you wish to make a contribution, please leave your name, number, and the amount of your bequest at the sound of the beep, and something will get back to you shortly. The machine answering this message is connected to a 5000 volt power supply, and a relay which is wired to this small kitten. Please leave your name and number, and after I've doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI. Fortunately resurrections and divine revelations do tend to occur from time to time, so leave a message and we'll let you know when the next miracle occurs. (Break a few small twigs; big scream.) Please leave your name and number and we'll get back to you as soon as it is humanly possible. (Drawling granny voice:) Way back inna winner of fifty-two, we didn' have fanshy gadjets like no ansherin' machine. (Narrator's voice:) There Dale sits, reading a magazine. The bathroom explodes into a veritable maelstrom of toilet paper, with Dale in the middle of it, his arms windmilling at incredible speeds! Your five dollar donation to get George Bush re-elected in all 50 states will automatically be charged to your phone bill. (To the tune of "Heartbreak Hotel" with appropriate music:) I just left home baby, I'll be out fer a spell, and if you don't leave a message baby, you can go to BEEP (To the tune of "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana:) Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, No one's here, No one's home, Leave a message, At the tone. (Pause.) I mean, he can't come to talk to you right now, but if you leave a message after the, umm oh, the uhhhh... If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message.All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone system. Now, shum people, dey shay dey don' like 'em, but I shay it'll shave you a lotta trouble if you jusht leave a meshage. You know what I hate about answering machine messages? I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. Your help will enable us to bring these delightful creatures back from the brink of fantasy and find them suitable positions in the forest product industry. (Sound of a kitten meowing.) If you hang up before you leave a message, it will complete the circuit and fry the kitty. This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought-recording device. You jusht had to call and call until shummbody got home. Don't feel stupid, Its no big fuss, Leave a message, You can reach us. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP.

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