Not dating for a year
I figured you weren't really into guys like me, so I never asked you."I wish I could say I went out with him. He took me on my first date and we dated for about a week, which seemed like a lifetime to me.Then, the first love of my life arrived: brooding, cleft chin you could drink champagne out of, and green eyes that could burn a hole in your soul.Every time I would meet some gorgeous guy who had that playful "I am totally going to mess with this girl" twinkle in their eye, I'm sure the pain was evident on my face as I convinced myself to stay the course.I declined invitations; I ached for someone to touch me, for the drama of a bad relationship.
Detoxifications are done when you eat too many chips, drink too many drinks, do too many drugs. Is there a Promises out there for people who have had one toxic relationship after another?I'd like to say I spent three years blissfully watching Lifetime movies with the shades drawn, but I can't.My first few months were spent like anyone who goes through any kind of detoxification process. The body and heart craves what it has come to know and love.This was someone who almost delighted in seeing exactly how far he could push me before I would break—and let me tell you that the worst thing in the world is to deny a junkie the fix.One night after break-up sex following the umpteenth split, he smacked me. I moved across the country shortly thereafter, thinking to myself, "This is ridiculous. That has to be rock bottom."Rock bottom, it turns out, occurred with the emotionally unavailable guy after him.