Real time dating
It’s the difference in feeling between losing a million dollars (devastating) vs.
the feeling of NOT winning the lottery at all when you had 4 numbers (mildly irritating). When the contract is signed, the ink is dry, and you know, without a doubt, that your dating prospect has become your BOYFRIEND.
It’s not because he’s an evil human being hell-bent on destroying your self-esteem. The reason your heart gets broken each time a new guy disappears is because you are SURPRISED when he disappears. Men disappearing is probably a semi-normal occurrence. And the reason it hurts so badly is simple: our expectations aren’t aligned with reality.
It’s not because you will not be able to survive without him. Then why act so shocked and devastated when outcome is so predictable? What I want to do is show you how to manage them – to protect yourself from continual heartbreak. Sandy was a 45-year-old client living in rural Wisconsin.
You see a picture, you read a profile, and you start to get excited. Suddenly, you’re flirting like crazy, eagerly anticipating his every response. You know that dates are rarely as promising as the buildup. By the second week, the cute guy had already written to her. ) Soon, they were bantering back and forth multiple times a day, and he started to plot their first date. When the cute guy Googled Sandy’s hometown, he was surprised to learn that she lived 3 hours away.
There’s wit, there’s sexual innuendo, there’s instant talk about making plans. But, sure enough, when he shows up, he’s as cute as his picture. You play mini-golf and grab two rounds of drinks at a nearby bar, after which you go back to your place and make out on the couch for an hour. He knew he didn’t want to get into a long-distance relationship, and so, instead of trekking to go on a first date, he emailed Sandy to apologize and wish her well in her search for love. Even though she’d only exchanged a few emails, she’d gotten excited about this cute, successful, articulate, enthusiastic man. She started to dream about this man saving her from a life of loneliness. They really didn’t have any relationship whatsoever.